Cheerleaders fail to brighten up Jones' 'Man of the House'

"Man of the House" (Columbia Pictures). Okay gang, repeat after me, "Tommy Lee Jones is an Oscar-winning actor." Well, one would have trouble believing it based on his stiff performance in "Man of the House," a callow action-comedy about a no-nonsense Texas Ranger out to protect a bunch of curvaceous cheerleaders from a ruthless mobster. More mind boggling yet, Jones worked to get this movie made as its executive producer. What was he thinking?

The lanky crater-faced Jones mingling amongst dizzy-minded divas on the football field is a creepy sight gag at best, and then, director Stephen Herek ("Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure," "The Mighty Ducks," "Life or Something Like It") fails in properly mining what goofy laughs the premise might have drawn.

Jones plays straight-laced Texas Ranger Roland Sharpe who goes undercover as a cheerleading coach in an effort to monitor the safety of five University of Texas cheerleaders -- Anne (Christina Milian, Barb (Kelli Garner), Evie (Monica Keena), Therese (Paula Garces) and Heather (Vanessa Ferlito). The gorgeous gals were unfortunate enough to witness a heinous crime by a gangster who may be marking these young women for death. So Roland must move into their sorority house and deal with their free-wheeling exploits on campus. In the process of protecting them from possible danger, he learns to connect with the pretty pom-pom princesses. An unlikely friendship develops amongst them.

We're also supposed to get guffaws from Cedric the Entertainer ("Johnson Family Vacation") as a wise-cracking vocal ex-preacher but he's only in the story briefly shaking his beefy body around the sensuous squad. Otherwise, Jones's Roland can be found looking incredulous and reacting hastily, as when he foolishly attacks the football team's mascot. All in all, the Lone Star state's passion for gridiron action and the outlandish mayhem of the insipid plotline add up to very little.

"Because of Winn-Dixie" (20th Century Fox) Although Director Wayne Wang makes a decent try at a drama-comedy with appeal to all ages, his narrative stalls in places. Still, the story of a girl and her dog is at times absorbing and warm and does have its high spirited moments.

"Because of Winn-Dixie" is based on the popular Newberry Award-winning children's novel by Kate DiCamillo. A feel-good story, it is about a developing friendship between a lonely little girl named Opal (played by newcomer Anna Sophia Robb) and a stray dog.

Opal and her Preacher papa (Jeff Daniels) have just moved to Naomi, Florida where they look forward to new beginnings. Opal's father is the small town's minister of the Open Arms Baptist Church. The congregation convenes every Sunday morning at the convenience store for the services. Already feeling lonely, Opal quickly realizes that her indifferent peers aren't warming up to her. Opal has abandonment issues which we learn about when it's revealed that her free-spirited mother left her at a younger age. Plus, her father seems emotionally distant and refuses to discuss Opal's absent mother.

Opal soon finds an unlikely companion when she spots a dog making some unwanted commotion at the store. Feeling an instant affection for the pesky pooch, Opal tells the flustered storeowner that the animal belongs to her. Opal christens the mutt Winn-Dixie after the store where she found him, a chain market in the South. With its shaggy body and infectious yet odd smile, Winn-Dixie becomes the four-legged pal needed to bust Opal out of her funk. Soon the pair becomes inseparable. Opal is even inspired to work part-time at a local pet shop overseen by guitar-strumming manager Otis (played by musician Dave Matthews).

The mischievous Winn-Dixie has an uncanny knack for drawing eccentric people close to Opal whom ultimately share their insights on life with her. Among the residents that end up crossing paths with Opal and Winn-Dixie is Gloria Dump (Cicely Tyson), a cantankerous recovering alcoholic trying to cope with her checkered past and drinking problem. Gloria recognizes Opal's need for attention and guidance and offers the little gal her own survival instinct. Opal feels at ease with Gloria and pours her heart out about her mother's disappearance.

Wang's commentary about wounded souls from all walks of life and the emptiness that gives their strengths and weaknesses commonality has a sweet tone.

"Diary of a Mad Black Woman"

(Lions Gate Films) Tyler Perry made his artistic mark through a series of stage plays detailing the chaotic accounts of a handgun-happy, pot-smoking glib grandmother which he played in drag. Now, writer-producer-comic actor Perry takes his celebrated theater gig and transforms his outlandish routine into a lowbrow urban comedy with a message.

In "Diary of a Mad Black Woman," Perry, who himself plays three roles in the story, is all over this disjointed gag session that wants to be funny even as it spins a moralistic tale about a wounded woman trying to find her spiritual way. From parading around as an acid-tongued senior citizen, her lascivious brother, and a more somber character, her nephew, a lawyer, to producing and directing the movie, Perry gives James Brown a run for his money for hard work if not great results.

While "Diary" has its riotous moments, the story is about Christian values and transgressions, but it doesn't reach any real depth along those lines because of first time filmmaker Darren Grant's scattershot direction and Perry's uneven script which reduces the story to a sitcom style of narrative.

Helen McCarter (Kimberly Elise) is the contented wife of prosperous Atlanta-based criminal defense attorney Charles McCarter (Steve Harris) whose husband tells her out of the blue that the marriage is over. With his longtime mistress standing at the door, Steve strong arms Helen out of their swank mansion with some of her clothes and no alimony. At a loss of what to do, she returns to her grandmother's house in the shabby neighborhood she had so gleefully left behind.

Helen settles in with a pack of sordid relatives and other peculiar personalities her flamboyant granny Madea (Perry) has also taken in chief among them her brother Joe (also played by Perry). Plus, there is Helen's nursing home bound mother (Cicely Tyson) who seems more sensible than the rest of the kooky clan.

Things start to look positive when Helen encounters a sensitive blue-collar guy in handsome Orlando (Shemar Moore). He's the ideal man for Helen. Should she accept his advances or let her Christian beliefs dictate her healing the fragile marriage with cheating Steve? Will Helen ever convincingly regain her dignity as a capable black woman worthy of finding a meaningful existence?

"Diary of a Mad Woman" is like a hastily made tossed salad whose ingredients never quite blend. Helen's diary entries are heard and performed throughout the movie yet we never get much insight into this strife-ridden person. With the occasional voiceover accompanied by a contrived set of goofy circumstances that finds self-righteous Helen getting even with her two-timing hubby, "Diary" cobbles together a bunch of cliched notions about black male/female relationships.

Perry's on-stage antics were undoubtedly entertaining for those who cherished his irreverent theatrical plays, but as a motion picture, "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" loses that charisma despite its soul-searching message.

Article copyright The Bay State Banner.

Photograph (Cedric the Entertainer)